So yesterday, I decided to send my friends a photo expressing my love for them, and one guy replied that telling him “I love you nonromantically” was a contradiction because love is romance to which I responded “Wow, you’re very amatonormative”. He also went on further to equate sex with love. I pointed him to Google to look up the definition of amatonormativity and this guy totally defends it by saying that all humans want love and I just view it differently because I’m religious.
I pointed out:
- Sex and love are two different and separate things.
- Most people tend to have sex for mere pleasure.
- Some people engage in romantic relationships, not even for romance or love but because they desire sex and view the fulfillment of this desire most appropriate within a romantic relationship. These relationships should however be specifically labelled as “romantic-sexual” relationships.
- Sexual desire and the desire to be loved are also two different things. All humans may desire love in general, but not all humans want romantic love or to “fall in love” and not all humans experience romantic attraction or romantic love (the existence of aromantics prove this). All humans do not desire sex (partnered sex to be more specific) either and the existence of asexuals further proves this point. However, sexual people may not desire sex for other reasons and whatever reasons they are, all are valid and we have no right to say they are broken and need fixing. That’s up to them.
- Romance can exist without sex. (Main proof- romantic asexuals)
- Sex can exist without romance. (Main proof-aromantic sexuals)
He still did not get my point because he kept arguing that I will always have a different perspective because I’m religious. Yes, I personally believe that sex is for marriage but I understand those points I made above and with him being someone who is sex-crazed and having constant casual sex I expected he would too. But that’s just another example of romantic-sexual relationship hierarchy in society. He is still chasing the “one”.
Meanwhile, I’ll be taking a nap. See you soon.